What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
