"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
