there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
