There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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