Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
