guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
