I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
