Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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