yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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