it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
