we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
