I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize