Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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