I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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