She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
