so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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