Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just blew my weed a kiss
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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