I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
