so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
