I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
