Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
