Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
