She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
