I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
