Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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