I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
