That's intense
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You are the jesus of drinking
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
