it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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