Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
