Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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