oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i came on her dog
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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