Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
