I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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