3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
