all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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