well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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