Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
