Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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