The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Randomize
