She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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