The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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