I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
