hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
