i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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