i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
