When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
