A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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