This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
