the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I believe in your delicious
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
