it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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