Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
