pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
