Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
