my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
