Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
