She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
