'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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