i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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